The Unspoken Rules of Online Dating
If you are looking to meet people you must first know where to look and how to present yourself. Finding the right chat room is a good place to start. As I have mentioned, sites like craigslist offer excellent opportunities for daters. This site is 100% free and used by people world wide. However, when using any site, make sure you are in the right chat room. Chats like “Single and Looking” or “Strictly Romance” are not always as nice as they sound. Many of these sites are used by people interested in one thing – and it’s not a long term relationship. So find yourself a good, reputable room. Spend a little while reading what has been posted and make sure the intentions of the site match yours.
Once you have found a suitable place to chat, you will want to create a screen name. Screen names can either make you or break you in the online dating world. I have seen many screen names that have immediately turned me off! Men who have names like “TheBig1” or “SexyLatinLover” are not going to get a response from me, even if they are the nicest guys in the world. So keep your name clean, or you’ll be asking for trouble! And remember; never give out any personal info through your name.
Now that you have found a good site and created a screen name, it’s time to start meeting others. But before you jump into sending out messages, you need to learn the site rules. As with many sites, people can become very angry of newbies breaking the rules. And many chat rooms have regulations in place for what you can and can’t discuss. Please don’t be one of those people who waste everyone’s time sending Spam, chain mails, jokes or “silly photos”. And never carbon post anything! Carbon posting is copying the same post to several different places on the same site.
Take into consideration that online dating is no different than meeting someone at your local pub or the mall. You need to have the same etiquette you’d have as if you were face to face. Don’t give out any information over the internet that you wouldn’t be comfortable giving out at a public place. The people you meet online are still strangers! Keep it simple and stick to general information such as you first name, the state in which you live, etc. Unless the stranger is planning to come to dinner tomorrow he doesn’t need to know your address and phone number! And create a secondary email account using a free service like yahoo or gmail. Only give out your secondary email address to people you meet online, save you regular account for work and family.
This is the time when you will want to begin conversations with the people you meet via the chat room. Take your time and get to know the people you have interest in. Photographs, physical descriptions, etc are not always accurate, trust me! I once came across the same photograph on two different sites for two different people! It’s easy to find a picture on the net and claim it as your own.
For additional safety, always save copies of your conversations. I have used my copies to double check information. Liars can quickly be weeded out this way – save more time for the good guys!
Speaking of liars, if you invest a lot of time into online dating, you are bound to find a few bad apples. I once met a guy who I really liked a lot, just to find out that he was a total jerk. Although retaliation would have made me feel a little better, it is important to be the bigger person. Flaming (inciting or provoking an argument) is another big chat room no-no, and could result in getting banned from the site. So try and keep it clean. Make sure that what you say is appropriate and you won’t regret it long term.
Remember, using chat rooms can be a so much fun, as long as everyone follows the rules! There are tons of great men and women online you just have to take the time to find them.
