This Week’s Weirdest Technology: Strange eBay Auctions

Auction giant eBay continues to grow by leaps and bounds. It seems that we can’t get enough of the sometimes-too-good-to-be-true deals that can be found, or the absolutely unique bids. In the last month, I’ve turned to eBay to find parts for my car (which seems to be having some freakish bad luck), really great name-brand clothes for my kid that won’t break the bank, and to fuel my growing collection of Bad Taste Bears. It’s been a slow month.

We’re constantly hearing about people who get rich making eBay their, well, career. I don’t know about that, but I do know that with all the people placing items up for bids they are getting more and more creative. There’s only so much interest the wishful auction-goer can garner for their ordinary, every-day items. So, they’re going out of their way to add imagination to the eBay shopping experience.

How strange can we get? Some of the auctions get very, very strange. I’m talking haunted records, buying a sports team fan, and a 100 year bottle of air. Seriously. But that’s not the strangest – we can get even weirder with our eBay goodness.

Up for bids (as of writing this, you can get in on the action with 3 days left on the auction) by legendarypi is an item that she claims has her husband “geeked”: Buy my Unwanted PMS. Yup. You can bid on this woman’s cramps, bloating, mood swings, chocolate cravings, shopping binge urges, and get it all delivered right to your door to free her of the insanity.

What do you really get for your winning bid? The winner of this auction will receive a balloon filled with water to represent the bloating, and a stress ball to help with the frustrating times when you are out in public and screaming is not an option. A really HUGE chocolate bar to help with those uncontrollable cravings for chocolate, a box of midol to help with the cramps and the tiredness, and a bag of plain potato chips to ease the salt craving. Feel free to eat these with the chocolate bar for extra relief. Also included in this auction is a small bottle of bubble bath. If the bidding goes high enough, the auction-giver will also include a gift certificate to a “well known known store so you will be able to satisfy my need to shop during my extreme time!”

Listen, if you think that’s a crazy auction (and believe me, I think it rivals the famous “Write On My Face” auction), you want to keep reading because there’s definitely more eBay weirdness out there.

The next strange auction I have to share starts with a story:

“Peter Rabbit was starving! He came to a farmer’s lettuce garden but it was surrounded by a picket fence. Peter knew he must eat soon or he would die. He could barely fit through the fence in his present condition and he knew that if he entered and ate the lettuce he would be unable to fit back through the fence. If the farmer happened to come by he could not escape. The lettuce was too large too fit through the fence.”

So what’s the bid? According to the auction holder, big-otis1983, you’re bidding to “help Peter get through the fence”. Ending with a definitely ominous tone, reminding bidders to add the page to their watch list so that they can “See how Peter Rabbit ______”, this auction kind-of scares me. I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of bunny rabbits. The moment I’m in breathing vicinity with the furry little things my chest tightens up and I can’t breathe. Talk about a deadly allergy. But this auction gives me the willies … who would hold a poor little bunny rabbit ransom?

If you want to bid on the “Help Peter Rabbit Live” auction and find out what the gift in the box that big-otis will send you is, you need to hit eBay soon – as of writing this article, there’s only 12 hours left.

The last strange eBay auction only goes to prove that old cliche about a woman’s scorn … and it, too, features a story. This story is told with an auction layout that’s to-die-for entertaining with sepia-toned, hunky cowboy pictures and a woman who hates him. Apparently, the story is that this good-ol-boy cheated on his lovely and she’s now auctioning off his boots.

A warning comes with the boots, though! “There’s no telling how many beds these boots have been under….they appear well traveled!”

What you’re actually bidding on (if you were to bid, of course) is a used pair of size 12 D Redwing cowboy boots and anything else that the auction-giver can find belonging to “him”… as long as it isn’t his wallet with money and credit cards, in which case she has that all covered. As I write this, there’s still 7 days left on the auction and you can own “His Cheatin Boots” from cutie-pie. Really, if you need a laugh, check out the page. This girl’s got a fantastic imagination.