Tips for Maintaining a Strong Interracial Relationship
1) Know Thyself. In order to be comfortable in an interracial relationship, you have to be comfortable with who you are as an individual. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and embrace all parts of your personality. Being in such a relationship will try your faith and strength and will have you questioning your cultural beliefs. By being comfortable with yourself you are able to not only recognize your own strengths and traits but you will also be open to accepting your partner.
2) Communicate. This goes for any relationship that you are in, but it is especially important in an interracial relationship. As partners in this relationship, you may inevitably encounter stares or verbal harassment from strangers as well as family and friends. It is important to inform your partner of any discomfort or anger you may feel about these instances and to listen to your partner’s feelings. Also, sometimes familial or cultural ways of handling emotions may get in the way of communicating fully. Be sure to be honest with your partner about everything in order to prevent potential problems that may arise from hurt feelings.
3) Share. Spend time getting to know your partner by doing things that interest him/her. Is there a hobby you can share? If you have different cultural backgrounds, make an effort to get to know his/her family traditions and share your traditions as well. This will show your partner that you are interested and care about him/her.
4) Compromise. We can’t always have what we want. Therefore, it is important to know what really matters and what arguments we can let go. Because you are dealing with two different backgrounds, you may start off having little in common besides a mutual attraction. Decide early on what values and beliefs are important to you and do your best to agree to a compromise on other items. Instead of playing tug-of-war with the radio, agree to split music time so that each person can hear their favorite music genre or find a station that plays a variety of music. Take turns visiting venues that each of you enjoy.
5) Socialize. Studies have shown that we are the most comfortable around people who are like ourselves. Make sure that you include outings with other interracial couples, whether its friends or hanging out in mixed crowds. This may alleviate some feelings of discomfort/stress on a partner and may avoid reactions from strangers in a crowd.
