Tips from a Kid-Tested Mom: Good Sleeping Habits for Baby, Toddler or Child
You cannot just use a cookie cutter approach to bedtime. My first-born loved to sleep. She would fall asleep in the car, in the shopping cart, in her infant carrier, in anyone’s arms; get the picture? Nothing could keep her awake, not loud sirens, not a dog barking, not a marching band; this kid snoozed through everything. Our first family portrait is of her snoozing in my arms, lol, no kidding! The photographer was irritated that he couldn’t get her to wake up and smile for him. She was also very difficult to nurse as she kept falling asleep when she was supposed to be nursing. I remember the lactation specialist at the hospital giving me all kinds of wacky tricks to use to wake her up so she could get her prescribed 5 minutes of nursing in at each breastâÂ?¦good luck with that LOL. I swear she slept through half her teen years. Some kids just love to sleep and the trouble lies in getting them to wake up in time for school etc. instead of getting them to go to sleep.
If you are not lucky enough to have one who loves to sleep then, perhaps you have the proverbial night owl. Nothing unnerves a new mom, so much as a newborn that refuses to let mom sleep, or one that has night and day mixed up. Babies are cute and all, but you can only say ahhh and ooohh so many times. Then the cuteness wears off, and the new mom just NEEDS to get some sleep. Baby has other ideas though; after all baby just came off a 9-month sleep-fest it’s time to party!!! There is so much to explore, so many new sights and sounds. Stimulation is a mighty strong stimulus.
Most babies need a non-stimulating environment in order to drift off to lullaby land. Stimulus can be anything from sounds, lights, being too cold or too hot, to having the ability to wave the two fascinating things called fists around in front of one’s own face. Babies also need full tummies and dry, clean diapers. I have found that swaddling a newborn helps keep down the temptation to explore those fascinating fists and stops the urge to kick those miraculous things called legs. Most pediatric nurses teach new moms how to swaddle in the hospital. If you were unlucky enough to miss this lesson; take a standard size receiving blanket, lay baby with head at one corner, bring up the opposite corner to just below chin, bring one side across body and tuck in at baby’s opposite side.
Take the left over side and wrap around baby. Make sure blanket is snug but not overly tight. The baby’s face should be showing, but not arms and legs. You can prop up the baby on the side by putting a small rolled up blanket behind the back. Make sure baby is out of drafts, bright lights and is not exposed to other than normal household noises during sleep times. I used pacifiers with my last little one, but my first two never really needed anything in their mouths to sleep. If baby should wake during the night my philosophy was that babies only cried as a way to let us know they need something. To ignore the crying in hopes that it will soon subside is like telling your baby that their needs just are not important to you. Our job is to play detective and figure out what this little non-verbal individual is trying to tell us. Our clues can be found in observing the baby’s body language and learning to recognize the different types of crying (this will come in time).
The first thing I always checked was the diaper, because if the child was hungry the last thing you wanted to do after feeding a sleepy baby was wake it up by exposing the lower half. If that is all that was needed, a change of diaper, then when that task is done, you should have a drowsy baby on your hands, ready to settle back into their wrapped bundle and put back to bed. If the crying persists, then check the other end. If the baby is rooting; searching for nourishment with its mouth; the baby is most likely hungry. Nursing makes this task easy, at least for mom. If dad is taking a turn with the baby, or you are bottle-feeding, it helps to have bottles prepared ahead of time in the refrigerator or the already mixed, and ready to feed kind waiting at bedside. The quicker the nipple is placed in the mouth, the quicker the crying stops. If diaper changing and feeding does not cease the crying, then perhaps the baby has a discomfort somewhere. Discomforts can come from the diaper area (rash or a pin if using cloth – *tip: the Velcro kind are fabulous), from the baby being too hot or too cold, or the baby just needing to be reassured by a familiar face or smell. If the latter is the case, the baby should settle when you first pick it up, murmur softly in its ear, or rock gently back and forth as you hum softly.
A toddler or child needs an established bedtime routine. Most kids need to know what to expect in most situations, and to feel secure and safe. Doing the same thing at the same time is reassuring to a young child. My usual bedtime routine consisted of a bath, teeth brushing, pajamas, a story, a prayer, hug and lights out. They always knew where I was to be found if they needed me and that was reassuring too. I always found that giving a child a little time to talk before bedtime helps too. Notice, I said give the child time to talk, bedtime is not the time to give your child new information about family happenings.
Sometimes children have things bouncing around in their heads about stuff that happened during the day and unburdening them, makes sleep easier. This is not the time to scold for telling however, just a time to let them get stuff off their chests, so to speak and to reassure them that you care about them. Tomorrow is time to deal with anything that needs to be addressed in regards to what has been revealed. Another tidbit of advice – do not overly stimulate a child in the hour before bedtime. By all means do not give a child bedtime snacks that contain sugar or starch. You want to calm a child down, not give them more energy. Snacks should be eaten at least two hours before bedtime. If your family eats late then there is usually no need for a snack. Placing a half full glass of fresh water at the bedside will avoid the “MOM, I need some water”, calls after you have closed the door LOL. As a part of your routine you can do a check of all comfort items with the child, glass of water, favorite bed companion, nightlight, etc. Most children love to know that you care about them to spend some time with them before they close their eyes; which is why bedtime routines are important to the success of getting your baby, toddler or child to actually fall asleep with a minimum of fuss.
In summary: Provide a safe, relaxing, unstimulating environment for your baby, toddler, or child to fall asleep in. Establish a bedtime routine that is comforting, and calming. Children love to have parents other loved ones spend time with them before falling asleep. A routine that is predictable, the same events done in the same order; gives a baby, toddler or young child the sense of everything being right with their world. A good routine involves more than cleaning up and putting pajamas on, it can include a story, brushing or putting braids in hair, singing and prayers.
Surrounding a child with familiar, cherished toy or blanket will give them comfort should they awake during the night. Should a baby, toddler or child awake during the night, try to understand and meet their needs as quickly, but as comforting as you can. Reassure your child where you will be while they will be sleeping. Spend some time with your child, giving hugs or letting your child talk about things that may be puzzling or upsetting them about their day, in a reassuring way; taking care of anything that needs to be discussed or settled at times other than bedtime. What a baby, toddler or child needs before falling asleep is a calm reassurance that everything is all right with their world and that you are close by. May all your child’s nights contain sweet dreams.
