Tips on Approaching Girls, Finding a Date on the Dance Floor or at the Bar
Her answer: “Avoiding you.” Clunk. And there she goes, gone from your life.
Ok, let’s face it guys.You have one shot, a minute, maybe seconds to make that first impression. Forget the five minutes, a woman judges based on looks and that opening line, makes a decision, and then disses. We are talking about modern women here who know what they want, who were well trained by their mothers on how to get it and will hold out for the best offer if they have options. If they don’t, they still have a good idea as to what’s on the market and for a woman looking for forever she’s got to think about her future which begins with you assuming you can convince her that you are “THE ONE”
But we’re getting away ahead of ourselves. So first date.
The approach. Cheesy as it sounds, there is a way to do this depending on the kind of girl that your drinking buddies never share even if they are your best friends since second grade. Mostly ’cause if they were good at it they wouldnt be out with you and they would be reaping the benefits.
So let’s start again. Friday night, the bar is packed. With either Guinness or Miller in hand (you’re choice), you are at the edge of the dance floor with your buddies when you spy your angel across the room. Oh, by the way if this is not purely a guys night out with only bonding on the agenda yes there should be a dance floor where only hard core sororites girls drink themselves into oblivion, particular if it’s not on her dates tab. The “babes” will flock to the dance floor. Now before you get all hot and bothered you want to prep for your big moment. She may be beautiful but you really dont what her idea of perfect is so it may not be worth the effort. But then again, staring at her all night isnt going to do much and even if she thinks upon intro that your only Mr. He’ll do for now, its an opening for a first date to talk over forever later.
To keep it simple we’ll just call her Angel. So there stands Angel across the dance floor with her wingmen in toe. Just a few things to notice. One, is she doing all the talking while her loyal entourage chimes in agreement. If so, BAD, she is going to be tougher than you might guess. Two, does she smile or laugh. If she does, then breathe a sigh of relief. Bubbly and outgoing are good. If she’s social then she may be less likely to make a judgement on your looks, clothes and the first line that enters your mind and chat anyway even if you’re not Mr. Right, buying you a little time.
If she does not and frowns constantly or is kind of stiff, you know that she has a little too much attitude, just continue to scan the crowd. Let’s face it, if her heart is made of ice a blowtorch wont melt it. Body language is important. Her tossing her hair around could be a variety of things. Yeah, it could just be in the way but it could be a practiced gesture with a specific intent behind it. A little to much snap in the flick of the hair could be purely for show and really says that she’s vary conscious of whether people are looking at her and may actually be trying to draw attention to herself.
Think status seeker. There’s a term for girls like that – there called Trixies and they are purely looking to be trophy brides living in the lap of luxury so unless its a beamer or better with an Amex gold and you are wearing a rolodex which she will check when you approach, there is nothing that you could possible say to impress or her win her heart. Ok so pray for fun and sweet, hey it only adds to her beauty. Be careful though if she giggles a little too much, could be immaturity or it could be feigned purely to manipulate either her friends or you her would be target. Women go on the prowl to hook someone too otherwise they wouldn’t be hanging out in a bar on Friday.
Now for foreplay. I know, I know men hate that word but everything about the approach, the introduction, the invitation, the date, until you are basking in afterglow everything is foreplay. Now let’s lay it out. Once again you with your beer of choice in hand and your posse are across the room from your Angel who chats or dances amidst her friends. The style of foreplay differs a little with the situation.
Let’s say for a moment that they are in as deep a conversation as you can get in a bar or club with the talking and pounding bass all around you. You look her way and watch intently. But DON’T STARE. You want her to notice you without freaking out cause you look like your the hunter about to move in for the kill. The natural tendency of a guy is to take a swig of beer. Go ahead do that if it relaxes you but DONT CHUG. Try to be non-chalant without looking like you are trying. The moment comes when she glances your way. Don’t be too quick to pull the trigger. She noticed, she didn’t jump in your lap. So she turns back to her friends but sneaks another glance moments later.
OK, let your hear soar for a moment but only a moment. She noticed. Take a sip of your beer, smile if you are feeling brave. If she smiles back then take that as her being interested. She turns back to her friends still half listening to their conversation trying to respond. She glances a third time, take that as your signal to approach. If you’re brave, go it alone. Walk up to her and keep it simple. There are very few people who have a good line that sounds both funny and sincere without having a lead-in where its a quip and if she really was sent from heaven, other men probably have noticed her too and she’s heard every line before. The confidence without being to slick might be a refreshing change and might spare you a brush off after her five minute assessment.
If she and her friends are dancing, you could bring your wingmen along. Some guys try to pair off and each dances with one of the friends giving you the chance to talk to her one-on-one without distractions but that rarely works. You then look like a pack of hungry wolves on the prowl and even if it’s ok with you angel it may not be with her friends who are trying to protect her as well as themselves. Up to you though, hit or miss. Then again they may welcome having dance partners.
The most appealing thing about a guy beyond looks and clothes no matter how lame it sounds is still confidence mixed with a down-to-earth sense of humor. If in those five minutes you can get your angel to enjoy herself and forget she’ s sitting in a meat market, literally make her feel special, then you’ve won.
It things go well after the first date and you both find forever … you owe me an invitation … Good luck!
