Top Ten Reasons It’s Great to Be a Guy
Top 10 Reasons It’s Great To Be A Guy.
Every guy has muttered it: “I just don’t understand them.” Well, soldier you might as well be happy you’re on the winning side if all’s fair in love and war. From uncontrollable crying, to her period, to you getting to decide where to go on a date, continue scrolling your eyes left to right and up and down, and you’ll learn why it’s great to be a guy.
10. Our Friends.
As men, we have clear cut friends. We don’t have best friends that we secretly hate. We don’t have friends that we’ll hang out with every night, then go home and call a “major slut” when she’s not around. We befriend people for reasons. We’re not catty, or facetious, we call people douchebags to their face for a reason. We won’t go home and trash talk a “friend” to our friends – that we do the same thing to- and smile the next time we see them.
9. We don’t judge women by what they do.
Even before the movie “Fight Club” we knew that we don’t judge people by their jobs, by their bank accounts, or by the brand of clothes that they wear. (Unless it’s homeless chic, then by all means judge away.) Men are superficial for the right reasons. There’s a hidden tap of beauties working at fast food joints all around the country. If they were guys they’d see no action at all because of some women’s views on necessary bank rolls, great clothes, nice cars, and status in life. But since they’re girls, some guys are getting a great girlfriend and free burgers out of these gems.
8. The river of tears.
Seriously, how embarrassing would it be to see the “Little Mermaid” and cry? It happens to women all the time. They also cry because of stress, anxiety, moodiness, and really, about 2 million other reasons. Have you ever seen an average guy juggling 5 things at once take a cry break in the bathroom at work? Negative. He knows that the only acceptable reasons for a straight man to cry are: Parents or siblings die, (if it’s a brother it is also acceptable to pour a few sips out of a beer in his honor) your dog dies (also pour some of a beer out in man’s best friends honor) and at the endings of “Rudy”, “Brian’s Song”, or “Something for Joey”. It’s also perfectly acceptable to cry like a baby if you take a shot in the nads. By all means, we feel your pain.
7. When I was at my graduation party�
I wore the white dress my mother bought me, half way through I looked down andâÂ?¦. It’s an old commercial for a tampon. We don’t have that problem. Enough said.
6. We like Women.
Another great thing about being a guy is romancing the “better half”. Although this article does them no justice, they are great creatures that even with their annoyances are a creature that we love. A guy will do almost anything for a woman whom he loves. (OK, stop sending the hate mail, you got a good plug.)
5. No walk of shame.
Do you remember that term in college? “Walk of Shame” the one women use to describe how they felt walking home at 7 am after a night of drunken debauchery. Guys have it too, except we lovingly called it: The “Got Some Strut”, and when you got back to your friends house, they never held it against you and absolutely never judged. All that was received was a high five and a “Dude, you definitely had the beer goggles on!”
4. Mongo, Strong like bull.
How great does it feel to use your muscles? If a girl asks you to open a pickle jar, you feel that animalistic urge once again. Also if the same girl asks you to move a dryer or another appliance you can act like it’s a responsibility worthy of great appreciation and sheer awe. But, in reality you can turn it into the Strong Man Competition. Make sure you scream Iceland loudly as you launch the dryer off of the patio, and then kiss your biceps. Unless your name is Louie, then by all means pull out your best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression and say -Everybody now: “Touch your muscles Louie!”
3. Breakups.
Granted it will happen. And, it’s going to feel horrible. But as a man unless you give in to those horrible thoughts about what “She” is doing you can have a month or two that’s better than any spring break. Why? You’re friends, are contractually obligated to get you hammered, laid, and over her as quickly as possible.
2. Use her listening to your advantage.
It’s actually pretty easy to get what you want from a woman as to date/gift wise. If you’re in a relationship, months or weeks before your birthday take her to two romantic restaurants on two beautiful dates where you “cater” to her needs. Then until your event arises, drop those subtle hints she always uses as an argument tool when you don’t get her what she wants. If 50 yard line tickets don’t manifest on your occasion, you have a major guilt trip, an argument stand by, and if need be an out of the relationship. It’s like chess, and Bobby Fischer would be awesome at relationships if he could ever get a girlfriend.
1. Let’s get it on.
There’s no better feeling then pleasuring your woman to the point where she may in fact call you a god. Granted you may be a false idol but if you play your cards right, she’ll be worshipping your idol.
