Trick or Treat! Alternative Halloween Costumes for You & Your!

Halloween is a magical time of year. Always a favorite of children and adults alike, it provides everybody with an opportunity to pig out, have fun, and dress up. But, if you’re like me, you don’t exactly have that extra $250 lying around to go out and buy that awesome Captain Spaulding clownsuit or that Power Ranger actionwear you’ve had your eyes on, and need to go with a cheaper alternative. But fear not, as I will give you some great ideas on how you can make awesome costumes in your own home, just with simple household items! After all, you don’t have to be rich to have some cheap fun, right?

For those of you technology fans, a simple box can become an unused canvas for your creativity. Put it upright, cut holes for your head, neck, and arms, and you already have the base chasse for a dandy little robot. Feel free to decorate the front with your choice of paint, a selection of old wristwatches or battery operated alarm clocks, old buttons, tin foil and glow sticks, and you’ll like twice more advanced than your friend who looks like that stupid robot from that robot movie Robots.

Robots not your cup of tea? Well, then turn that box sideways, cut a section out of the top, put on a windbreaker, and presto, you’re Talladega Night’s star Ricky Bobby! Want to complete the look? Just get a hold of an old wonderbread bag and tape the decal to your jacket front, and talk in a southern accent. Again, this allows a lot of creative freedom for you, as you can design the car to your own personal style. Give it your favorite number, your favorite color, and if you want, attach other pieces like a tailfin or wheels on the side. Anything can be done if you have enough cardboard and a dream.

But let’s say you don’t have a box, and then what do you do? Why, you get even more creative! Using some simple hair coloring in a can, you can pass as a lovely Jay Leno/Taylor Hicks (grey), a breathtaking Carrot Top/Chelsea Clinton (orange) or for the more distinguished woman, a Julianne Moore/Lindsay Lohan (red). Also, a bit of blue greasepaint can do wonders, as just a slapdash smear of the color can make you the villain from the movie Big Fat Liar, family friendly Beatles acid hallucination The Blue Meanie from the Yellow Submarine, one of the Blue Man Group, a Smurf commoner, or David Cross’ character Tobias FÃ?¼nke from Arrested Development. Don’t like blue? Use yellow! Go as Tweetie bird, Big Bird, a marshmallow peep or the human embodiment of the caution light on a traffic signal. Or how about orange? Smearing yourself orange allows you to go as Hulk Hogan, a macaroni and cheese noodle, an Easter egg dying tablet or my favorite, “terror alert orange.”

And then of course, you can always use various household items as your props. Put a lampshade on your head and go as Mel Gibson. Put Noxzema on your face and go as a snowman. Put the wall clock on your neck and go as Flava Flav. Put a pillow down your shirt and go as Anna Nicole Smith. Put a bottle in your hand and go as Liza Minelli. Put a remote control in your hand and go as Adam Sandler from the movie Click, or just grab yourself a pack of hotdogs and go to every house as eating sensation Kobiyashi.

Sure, none of these costume ideas will ever replace the true Halloween classics like the vampire, the ghost, or the witch, but wouldn’t you rather be remembered as the guy who put a werthers wrapper on his teeth, drew a beard on his face with a sharpie, carried around a piece of hotwheels track as a sword and wore your sister’s blouse and called it all Captain Jack Sparrow? Of course you would! And the great part about that is, everybody will remember you forever! So I encourage all of you, men, women and children alike, to please try and think outside the box this year. But please, nobody better go as Aunt Jemima, because that has already been done to death.