Tylenol PM: Insomniac Crack
I am an insomniac. Sometimes I put this malady to good use by writing Associated Content articles late into the night or going for a post midnight run, sometimes I do these things. Other times I need to sleep (as most humans do). I don’t have health insurance so I can’t get a prescription drug to help my restlessness. I need something over the counter. And about two or three years ago, I found it.
Tylenol PM is so good it should be illegal. It’s one of the most addictive non-drugs that I have ever come across. Let me tell you what I mean by non-drugs (and my perception of pharmaceutical and recreational drugs as well). I realize there is probably nothing in the physical composition of Tylenol PM that would warrant anyone to describe it as “addictive” (it has nothing like the components of crack that would lead everyone to describe that drug as “highly addictive”). But Tylenol PM is addictive.
It’s funny to me that drug stores are allowed to sell such crazy drugs. If you are the kind of person who likes to get “messed up” then go out and drink a bottle of cough syrup. Most Americans would not consider things like cough syrup or Tylenol PM to be “drugs”, at least not in the same vein as real drugs like cocaine and pot. But there are plenty of things at your local pharmacy that can get you high and many of these are highly addictive (even when they’re not).
Whereas cough syrup may suppress a cough, I am reluctant to distinguish it as a so-called non drug. Cough syrup (along with a handful of other drugstore wonders) can be a full on psychedelic experience (I’m serious, go out and drink a bottle right now- just make sure you’re in a safe place because things will get weird). An example of a non-drug would be something like Advil and of course Tylenol PM. Sleep is the 24 karat diamond of insomniacs and a relatively cheap solution, like Tylenol PM, is the nicest cubic zirconia we have ever seen. Sure, this stuff might be “non-addictive” but why I am taking it every single night.
Tylenol PM has become a part of my daily life, like coffee and pooping. It is truly an ingenious product. I take three little pills and I am out in less than an hour. I usually sleep for six to eight hours straight, no problem. The pills are a beautiful shade of blue; they look like the color of sleep. Also, unlike other products, the no-name brand equivalents to Tylenol PM are garbage. They do nothing for me, which is strange. There are a large smattering of products where I enjoy the “store brand” as much as (if not more than) the “name brand”.
You will pay more for Tylenol PM than its cheaper counterparts (as much as a few dollars more) but it’s worth it. Some people make too big a deal out of insomnia. When I tell people that I take Tylenol PM on a regular basis they are shocked. As far as I can tell, it’s a perfectly fine ailment to have (thanks to Tylenol PM). I’m up later so I get more done but I’m not tired because of the drugs.
I am a proponent of most drugs, non-drugs and any foreign substance that proves to be useful in some way, shape or form. But to enjoy most of the drugs that I take, I need to sleep. And when I need to sleep I take Tylenol PM. It’s that simple.
