Useless Appliances: Where is Our Common Sense?

Appliances are a big part of our lives. And, as anyone who has ever shopped for a wedding gift can attest, they’re big business. Everything from drying and curling our hair to preparing the meals that sustain us can be done with the aid of these electronic marvels. While this technology was originally developed to make our lives easier, it seems now that people are more concerned with making a dollar.

There is a phrase universally accepted, and while P.T. Barnum never actually coined it, it has the ring of truth. There really is a sucker born every minute. Even the most intelligent have willingly foregone common sense for the sake of keeping up with the Joneses.

I recently thumbed through a catalog and found an appliance that I never knew I always needed. It is the hot dog toaster. This little machine toasts two hot dogs and two buns and nothing else. Always a fan of the random, I was intrigued by how many other bizarre and useless appliances there could be. Here is a much abbreviated list of what I found.

Electric Wine Chiller-This little genie will chill a bottle of wine to the perfect temperature in ten minutes. Of course, the whole concept of a nice wine is that everything is better with age.

Electric Pepper Mill-This device is for those of you who need large quantities of pepper but did not’t have the foresight to buy it pre-ground.

Cordless Cheese Grater-Handy for those of us that like to grate our cheese on the go, this baby makes the perfect gift. Pair it with the portable tomato slicer (cuts small and medium sized tomatoes in perfectly even slices every time!) and/or the hand operated food chopper, and you’ve got a taco looking for a place to happen.

Shower CD Player-Why wait until we’re clean to listen to our favorite songs? It’s great for those of us with ADD or who like to multi-task. Why let our, thirst to keep busy, go unquenched for even twenty minutes? Not only can you lather and rinse, now you can sing while listening to the radio. It even has a clock for those of you who spend more than a few minutes in the tub.

Vertical Grill-For those of you who like to stand your meat up to cook, this is a treat! It takes up about as much space as a George Foreman grill, but it’s so darn cool looking! Heating Elements give it a real futuristic look.

Butter Warmer-For those of us who frequently tear our bread while trying to spread butter, this invention will keep our butter at a constant 65 degrees Fahrenheit.