Virtual Hunting: Click, Click, You’re Dead

Always been a bit of a wuss, a bit lazy? Do you hurl your breakfast at the sight of blood and gore? Hate to hike? Now you, too, can kill. Now you, too, can be a real man or a “new” woman. Thanks to the Internet, you can whack a real imported African Barbary Sheep in real time and it’s real death. Go directly to Live-Shot.com and find out how. Some folks in Texas have a ranch into which they have imported exotic animals from Africa for your shooting pleasure. All you need to do is align the virtual cameras, aim your virtual rifle and, if you’re lucky, a real gazelle lies dead in the Texas grass.

But why stop there? Perhaps for the first time in history, the Internet can be used to directly affect the physical real world. It is so much easier and even more fun to perform a horrible act on a computer and have it act on real beings. The possibilities in Iraq are almost limitless and surely Halliburton could do the sub-contracting. The fees would help offset the cost of the war.

When the British Empire ruled Tasmania, they enjoyed the great sport of using the native Tasmanians as prey, with the result that there are almost none left. We have a captive population in Guantanamo Bay that no one much likes and with which we don’t quite know what to do. How about turning them all loose within the confines of the base and let the folks at home have a real good time? Again the monies earned could help offset our huge budget deficits.

Most states are also deeply in debt. Returning capital punishment to the firing squad could raise huge revenues if we sold slots on the virtual firing squad. Victim’s family members would be given a reduced rate, of course, and they could finally achieve a real sense of closure. These executions could also be sold on pay per view TV, thus further enhancing revenues.
We have made just a few suggestions. All of you must have many more ideas because with this technology, we may be looking at the next Google.