Warning! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans Are Not for Grown Ups!

While I was standing in line at the video rental store I wanted something a bit different to snack on. As I approached the counter I saw the usual assortment of goodies, Goobers, Junior Mints, and packs of microwave popcorn in a bucket. I got to the counter and saw a box display for Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. I thought they would be just like Jelly Bellies, one of my favorite confections. So I bought a small bag thinking they might be appealing. I was mistaken, sadly mistaken.

As I got into my truck I popped a light green jellybean into my mouth and spit it back out almost immediately. It was celery. I hate celery, very much. Out the window it went. I bravely ventured back into the box for another piece of candy and faired a little better. A reddish orange morsel that must have been hot sauce. It was not super hot and was slightly sweet, not bad. I took one more chance and pulled out a gray bean, it was foul. It tasted like rotted fish smells, I later learned it was sardine flavor, yuck! I put the box in the console of my truck and left them there.

The next day I was giving my son a ride and he noticed the box and asked if he could have them. With an evil grin I said sure, knock yourself out. He informed me that Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans were one of his favorites. Since I am not a big Harry Potter fan I had never heard of them. He thought that was very amusing. He started digging through the bag and told me he was looking for a vomit-flavored piece.

Yes you read that correctly vomit flavored candy. Thankfully he did not find one. He did however pull out a gray one with black speckles and offered it to me. He said I would like it. I tried the offered piece and it wasn’t what I expected, it was black pepper. I suppose it could have been worse, much worse.

As w went down the road and my son was sampling the different flavors he was explaining the whole Harry Potter tie in. I learned that some of the flavors are actually almost normal. They have apple, cotton candy, bubble gum, cherry, orange, lime, raspberry, and so on. They also have many flavors I find completely disturbing such as dirt, mud, diesel, glue, spinach, and stuff like that. Eeeewwww.

I don’t think I would ever buy these again intentionally. Strictly speaking as an adult I would have to say that while I found most of the flavors quite nasty, it was an amusing experience. Children on the other hand may actually enjoy these with or without the Harry Potter tie in if nothing else just for the gross factor. As for me I think I will stick with the Junior Mints.