Ways to Help a Loved One Grieve a Loss

Grief is a part of the natural flow and journey of life; it can occur during the most discouraging times, but teaches some of life’s most valuable lessons. When a loved one is grieving a loss, there are some things that you can do to help them through the process. Remember that a loss can have a significant impact on someone’s lives, often changing them forever. However, the transition period requires support, nurturance, and as much openness as the grieving person is comfortable with. Denial is not a healthy acceptance process, although it may occur in the earliest stages. The sooner the grieiving person can resituate their lives and move out of the denial stage, the sooner they will be able to enjoy and live their lives again.

Grieiving is a process and requires a healthy attitude and even extra attention for a period of time. Being sensitive to the grieiving person’s needs, thoughts, and changes is vital for them to recover at their best and most natural pace. You can help them to go through this process in the following ways:

1. Understand that intense emotion is a natural coping style, and may be apparent early and at various stages of the process. Learn how the grieving person is communicating their loss, and make an effort to help them choose a healthy coping Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½vehicle.’ This can include talking with a friend or relative, expressing anger healthily, writing or journaling, or taking time away from familiar places and settings to become better grounded with themselves.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½

2. Understand that feeling guilty, angry, or even ashamed are part of the process and ensure the grieving person that this is natural.�¯�¿�½

3. Be present for them as much as possible. The grieving person needs as much familiar companionship as possible, even though they may not admit it most of the time. Make sure you leave notes, phone numbers, or other ways for them to connect with you when they are ready. Check up on them as frequently as is comfortable for both of you, and encourage them to talk.

4. Show genuine concern and help them with positive, self-esteem building activities. Show that you are naturally connecting with them, and take part in daily activities that can help them process the issues. Sometimes its better to just get involved with hands-on activities and keep some Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½motion’ going around you; it may be too difficult for them to sit and talk straight out about the subject at any given time.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½

5. Understand that there are some Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½don’ts’ involved in order to remain sensitive to the grieving peron’s needs. Avoid comments that minimize the loss, or giving examples of how you may have dealt with something in the past. Remember that this is their unique experience, and you have no idea how painful or intense their real feelings may be. The only thing you can do is be there for them and let them know that you can provide support whenever needed, even too much!Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½

6. Watch for signs of depression. It is very easy for the grieiving person to fall into a cycle of depression as they are in a very emotionally vulnerable state. Look for signs of alcohol or drug abuse, disruptive sleeping patterns, rapid weight loss or gain, and eating patterns. To encourage them to take care of themselves, offer to spend a day or few days to do basic household tasks, self-care, or just reading or watching movies together. Make sure they know that people are close by. Depending on the relationship you have with this person, learn their boundaries so that any questions are not considered invasive or offending.�¯�¿�½

7. Write a condolence note
Expressing genunine concern for the grieiving person and their families is a great way to send words of encouragement, gratitude for their presence, and support them with kindness. Do make an effort to write a note that they can turn to during the process.�¯�¿�½

8. Respect the grieiving person’s faith and spirituality
If you are unfamiliar with the background or customs, try and dlearn and avoid imposing your own or other culture’s ways of handling grief. This is a very sensitive time for the grieving person, and not a time that they will be concerned with a new idea! Try and take part in any ceremonie, rituals, or processes that they wish to or are familiar with.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½

9. Help to create, or contribute to, a memorial. Help the grieiving person select and design a memorial to honor their loved one or loss. This may help them process the event in Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½real time’ as it will signify an official and peaceful ending.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½

10. Encourage the grieving person to join a support group. When they feel strong enough to meet new people and go out, work towards establishing a network of like-minded people that they can connect with. They will be able to relate considerably to people who have also gone through the process, and will feel more comfortable in a social setting.

These ten strategies can help both you and a loved one cope successfully and healthfully during the grieiving process. Do remember that it is a process, with a start and an ending. Although the time of the ending cannot be determined, it becomes easier as time goes by and the person feels like they can reconnect with the world and people around them. It’s important to learn their sensitivities, and be especially vigilant around holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. These are highly emotional times for most people, and taking the person’s situation into consideration will help them considerably. The most important thing to remember is to make sure that they know that there are people to help them with anything they might need, and they do have someone to talk to whenÃ?¯Ã?¿Ã?½necessary.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½ Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½As the grieving person becomes more comfortable, you will notice that they will begin to pursue their old, if not better, lifestyle again and emerge as a strong survivor.