Wedding Budget: Prepare, Prioritize, Compromise
An out-of-control spending spree may result in serious financial and interpersonal consequences. Therefore I urge you, together with your fiance, to take the time to figure out (approximately) and agree on how much your total wedding expenditures will be before you sign a single contract for wedding vendor services or write your first check. Just remember that your wedding budget is meant to guide you, and it’s up to you to determine if adjustments are needed. In fact, adjustments probably will be needed as you go along. The most important point to remember is that communication is key!
The first step in the wedding budgeting process is to get an overview of all the potential expenditures you might have. Broad categories of wedding expenditures include wedding ceremony and reception accessories, guest and honeymoon accommodations, bride’s attire, wedding cakes, clergy or officiant fees, organists, soloists, wedding entertainment, attendants’ gifts, gratuities, groom’s attire, wedding flowers, honeymoon, wedding invitations (including postage), rehearsal dinner, photography, wedding reception costs, rings, transportation, videography, and the services of a wedding consultant. As you begin to formulate your budget, keep in mind that the cost of gratuities could increase some expenses by 15 to 25 percent.
Three wedding services are likely to consume the greatest share of your budget: the reception, photography, and entertainment. These are also the areas where you will be able to exercise the greatest discretion in spending. However, you and your fiance should consider all the expenditures you can reasonably expect to encounter as you plan your wedding. Avoid harsh disagreements and costly mistakes by prioritizing your wedding expenditures together. I recommend that you complete a simple exercise to see how closely you agree on the importance of key items.
Here’s how: Make two copies of a list containing the following categories: wedding accessories, bride’s attire, cakes, entertainment, gifts, groom’s attire, flowers, honeymoon, invitations, rehearsal dinner, photography, reception, rings, transportation, videography, and other. Separately prioritize your lists indicating the relative importance each item has to you. Your most important item will be number one, your second most important will be number two, and so on.
When you have finished prioritizing your lists, compare the results. Your lists probably will not match up on many (if any) items. This is the time to discuss, debate, and compromise on where you wish to spend the most money. If you become deadlocked on two or more items, agree to consider each item as equal in importance. You can (and will) revisit your priorities throughout the wedding planning process, and you can use this prioritization tool again and again as your wedding plans progress.
After agreeing on priorities (or agreeing to compromise), your next step is to begin gathering real-life data from vendors. You’ll soon see how the reality of costs will cause you to rethink some of your priorities. Give yourself permission to change your mind as often as you like, and don’t sign any contracts for wedding services until you know you are committed to both the vendor and the cost.
Planning a wedding is one of the most exciting and challenging tasks you will likely undertake. When you and your fiance work in harmony to accomplish the budgetary goals you’ve set together, you will always remember the magic of your wedding day, unspoiled by unintended financial burdens.
