Weekend Weddings

A lot of soon-to-be-married couples are choosing to do weekend weddings. Rather than having a concentrated, day-long event, they’ve chosen to spend more time with guests, focus more on meaningful rituals, and celebrate their union. This can be costly unless you do it right.

Here’s how you keep it affordable:

âÂ?¢ Delegate. Instead of having a formal wedding party, ask the friends and family you trust most to help you create a wonderful event. Most people are more than willing to help and will feel honored that you picked them. Make sure you’re letting people do what they want, rather than what you want them toâÂ?¦they’ll put more love into a job they like.

� Choose a destination that has a variety of things to do. Let your guests have time to wander and hang out. Weddings can make people feel romantic, loving and energized and everyone needs some time and space to honor that.

â�¢ Pick a simple theme (if you want a theme at all). Color schemes are nice, but d�©cor can get creative if you pick a theme that relates to you: hiking, dogs, travel, family, coffee, painting, etc. By letting others help with the creative part and decorations, it can be bigger than your own vision.

âÂ?¢ Pick simple decorations that can be used for other things. At my wedding we’re using lightweight cloth to create space and make the room feel cozy. Then we’re using the same cloth to section off a dance tent so it doesn’t feel like an empty room when people are dancing. Also, use things you already have: sheets, tablecloths, or any other themed items.

âÂ?¢ Simplify. There is a LOT of pressure to have an expensive wedding just to say you had one. Think of what’s important and put your effort into that. Look beyond what everyone else does and focus on what this union signifies to you.

âÂ?¢ Don’t forget the emotional process that goes on in preparation for weddings. This is a rite of passage no matter how much you spend, and there can be feelings of loss, frustration and newness at every stage. Honor those feelings and if you’d like, include it in the wedding weekend. Instead of giving wedding party gifts, I’m writing my friends and family letters to thank them for ushering me to this place in my life. You can make photo collages, give money in their name to charities, or make a meal for them, etc. The weekend can feel long if you are trying to honor every person there in three days or less. Honoring them ahead of time, will help you move easily through the weekend.

� Consider a wedding website. There are many sites that allow you to custom create a website (using templates). This can keep all the details in one place that people can access. For those who are not computer-friendly, you can send them paper data, but you can keep the costs down by using the website.

âÂ?¢ Potluck Dinner. It may sound less than desirable, but all the potluck wedding meals I’ve attended have been exquisite. There’s always a wide variety of food from all over the world and you don’t have to spend money on catering. I do recommend you have someone be in charge of this so that there aren’t 50 desserts.

âÂ?¢ Digital Download of Photos. There’s a trend to have people take photos with disposable cameras left on tables. I prefer to have people take nicer photos with their own digital cameras and then before they leave, download the pictures to a central computer (one with a lot of memory) so you can have lots of candid photos. Most photographers can’t be everywhere at once, and friends tend to take better candid pictures on their own. Then you can upload them all to a website so everyone can have copies after the wedding. This also reduces the time a professional photographer has to walk around after the ceremony.

âÂ?¢ In addition to or instead of a wine/beer bar, consider hiring a smoothie cart/juice bar to make drinks. Agree on a set price or a per glass fee. Keeping the alcohol to a minimum reduces cost a lot. You can even decide on your own recipes. If you don’t want to pay anyone to work the bar, you can make it ahead of time and hold it in large Cambro (restaurant supply places carry these) containers. Or leave ingredients out so people can make their own (this can be noisy and messy though so it’s best for one of the less formal meals).

âÂ?¢ Have lots of activities. If kids are welcome, make sure there is a lot to do. Board games, outdoor games, crafts, storytelling, etc. are all great ways to keep kids and adults occupied. Consider Capture the Flag, hiking, team sports, scrapbooking, cooking, or things that you’re interested in (shared hobbies).

âÂ?¢ Be cautious of TOO much to do. Most people will want to meet others, catch up with old friends, or hang out with the couple so don’t go overboard. If hiring childcare will alleviate some stress for parents so they can visit, then that’s a good investment. Ask friends if they have teenagers that would be willing to care for the kids.

� Encourage people to carpool. Since most people will be in one place the whole time, keeping cars to a minimum is great for parking and the environment.

� Make time for sacred rituals. While the ceremony is an obvious time for ritual, having a whole weekend to set the stage helps people get to know each other and brings them closer together. Ceremonies just for women or men, or families and friends, college buddies or any other group can help people feel like they are a part of your wedding without having too much responsibility.

âÂ?¢ Weddings are amazing for the simple fact that two people are choosing to spend their lives together. Don’t let tiny details ruin this special time. Ask for help, be flexible, and remember that although this may be a memorable event, it’s not the last oneâÂ?¦there’s a whole new life ahead of you to improve on. Enjoy what the wedding represents as well as the day itself.