Welcoming an Elderly Relative Into Your Home

They say that children become adults only to become children again, and in a way, it’s true. As adults grow on in years, they sometimes become dependent on other people for basic necessities, which makes them seem somewhat childlike to their caregivers. And while there are plenty of retirement communities from which to choose, family members often decide instead to take in their elderly relatives.

If you have recently agreed to move a parent or other family member into your home, you should be prepared for the challenges ahead. Your life is about to drastically change, and while this doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you should be aware of the obstacles you face. Taking care of an elderly relative can be a stressful, taxing job that can tear a family apart; don’t let this sudden lifestyle change throw you and your family for a loop.

The amount of the change is directly related to how much care your relative needs. If they require help with walking, going to the restroom, eating, and taking medication, then you will be needed around the clock. If, however, they simply need the comfort and support of living with someone else rather than alone, it might be easier than you think.

First of all, there should be a primary care giver in the family. This person will be responsible for keeping your relative on schedule and for taking care of their needs. Typically, the primary care giver should be a housewife or a stay-at-home Dad because working adults do not have the time to offer ’round-the-clock care. The primary care giver should meet with your relative’s physician for advice on administering medicine and for any other specialized care. This person should also be familiar with any medical equipment to be used during the course of your relative’s stay.

Next, you will need to find space in your home for this new addition to your family. If you do not have a spare bedroom, then a dining room or family room will suffice, as long as it offers privacy from the rest of the house. If need be, you might want to install a partition in open doorways to ensure that privacy.

If your relative is unable to walk, or has trouble getting around, their quarters should be located on the first floor of your house. It is unrealistic to think that you will be able to carry your relative upstairs every evening and downstairs every morning, and having him or her on the first floor will make everything easier. Again, if there are no bedrooms on the first floor, use a dining room or extra family room with partitions as a makeshift bedroom.

Their quarters will also have to house any medical equipment they might need, so you will have to plan that in your space. If they require a hospital bed, plan for that as well. Electrical outlets should be available on either side of the bed unless you intend to use a surge protector, and you will need a nightstand for drink glasses and pill bottles.

Your relative might wish to bring his or her own furniture, or you might have to supply it. Check on all of these details prior to the moving date so that you are prepared and aren’t bombarded with too many tasks at once. Adjusting to this change in your lifestyle will be enough for you to handle after the moving date.

If your relative will be using a wheelchair, make your house as accessible as possible. Hallways should be cleared of furniture to allow ample room for the chair to pass, and essential items in the refrigerator will need to be stored on the lower shelves. The bathroom might also create a problem, so you will need to take measurements and prepare for that eventuality as well.

You and your spouse (if you have one) should sit down several weeks in advance and coordinate your schedules for doctor’s appointments, physical therapy visits, and any other engagements that your relative will require. Someone should always be available in case of emergency, and if your relative requires constant care, then someone will need to be home at all times. Discuss the eventuality of social engagements, for which you will need to ask another relative to come and stay while you are gone.

All of these things should be considered well before your relative moves in. It is always helpful to be prepared, and you will be saving yourself stress and worry. This can also be a very heartwarming time; if this is a parent or grandparent, you will once again be sharing house space with them. Be prepared to enjoy your time with them and to welcome them into your home with loving arms. Try not to think of this new living situation as a chore, but as an opportunity to reconnect with your relative, and to offer the best care possible.