What Are Kids Listening to These Days?

Kids are getting robbed out of an essential requirement for the nourishment of their souls. First, let me state for the record that I’m only a thirtysomething (or something), so I’ll still have a valid opinion for at least another year or two – in my opinion. I don’t want to sound like the typical old man, trashing modern music and ‘kids these days,’ but I do believe that these times we’re living in are producing the least amount of quality music into the mainstream in the history of America. Granted, the majority of great rock music didn’t even come from American-born artists, but the powers that be had the good sense to expose their talent here and let the people decide what was good and what was ungood.

I’m really wondering what the cool kids are listening to nowadays. It doesn’t seem like there’s an in between alternative, there’s just sweet n’ cheeky pop or hard-core gangsta rap. The stuff they call heavy-metal now is just some guy with a ridiculously deep Satan voice, screaming himself hoarse about how everybody needs to die a slow, painful death and/or how much he cried over losing the love of his life. No kick-ass guitar gods. No adrenaline-rush drummers of note. (Drummers have generally been replaced by drum machines). John Bonham is rolling over in his grave. I know, he’s probably looking for his friend Jack Daniels but still…

I like hip-hop, but only for dessert. I have to have something else for the main course. Too much hip-hop rots your teeth and then you have to replace them with gold ones. And frankly, I don’t have that kind of money.

I was smoking a joint with Keith Richards yesterday and he said… something… I don’t know, it’s hard to understand Keith. But I think what he meant was that we live in a time of style over substance. It’s not so much that there isn’t substance available – it’s always out there somewhere – but there is some substance abuse going on by the powers that be, a.k.a. industry executives. And it’s not that good old-fashioned tap a vein & numb the pain or drink champagne to ease the strain kind of substance abuse. (Then he said, ‘old on mate, ‘at’s bloody good, emy royt ‘at shit down.)

We have suppression of creativity going on, because, as much as producers might want ‘the next big thing,’ it’s less risky to use a formula that has already been proven to work, i.e. the Boy Bands and the Britney clones. The Grunge movement was okay initially, but then the movement stopped moving and it all started to sound the same. People got sick of Pearl Jam fast once everybody started sounding just like ’em.

Also, when did it become okay to sell out and use your music to peddle products? It used to be an unwritten law that rock n’ roll was antiestablishment and all about the music. When did everybody collectively agree to trash that notion? Just because Jay Z is hocking beer doesn’t make him hard-core or any less of a sellout. He’s still a corporate puppet. Can you see Jim Morrison selling Coke? I can see Jim Morrison doing coke, but not selling it.

The reason American Idol is so successful – other than our insatiable desire to see people humiliated and ridiculed – is the fact that they perform real music. Mostly Motown and generous doses of classic rock ballads. Other than 30 second TV commercials, this is basically kids’ only exposure to the genuine article. And they like it. Of course they like it – it’s in our blood. If only the kids knew that, before Ozzy Osborne was the father figure for the modern stoned age family, he made some mind blowing music. Sixty years from now, is some old codger going to be feeling nostalgic and reminisce by listening to some Ol Dirty Bastard? Wouldn’t they find Limp Biscuit to be a little depressing? I think Limp Biscuit should take some Viagra and change their name.

Anyway, that’s my opinion and I sit by it.