What Men Want in a Woman
If you want to keep your man happy, then you need to find out what he really wants. Listen to him and get clues. Some men will get spoiled and expect you to do everything for them. If you started spoiling him in the begining of the relationship, don’t expect that he will just change was he is use to. A tidy home and dinner on the table every night is fine. Yet, I have known many of relationships that were just as happy when the house is a mess and dinner is ordered out. The man needs to be happy in the reationship if he is going to stay in it. It doesn’t matter if you are the Martha Stewart type. If you are not satisfying your man, he will find what he needs elsewhere. You need to know what makes him tick.
At the beginning of the relationship, you had to do something that attracted him to you and made him want more. In time, this leveled off because of the settled comfortness between the two of you. Perhaps you may have just forgot how hard you tried to make yourself attractive to your man during that time when you first started dating. Did something change? Did you settle into the relationship just to find out that their were things about him you wish you could change? Who was it that actually changed to begin with or are you both the same people with different views? These are some of the questions to ask yourself when you find things are not as they use to be or that you wish they were.
Rule number one: never try to change your man, if he wants to change, he will do that on his own. This means for better or worse. The last thing a man wants is to feel like a woman is trying to change him. Thats nothing new. Men have thought this way since the beginning of time. If you really want to change someone, start with yourself. Get back to the independent you by doing the things you use to do. For example: when was the last time you took the time to do something nice for yourself? Remember how you felt when you got dressed up, put on make-up and got yourself some new outfits to wear? Men love to see a woman who takes care of herself. When was the last time you had your nails done or done them yourself. Have you put on a few extra pounds and your man is looking at skinnier women? If you know what the problem is within yourself, fix it. Then perhaps you will not be so apt to change him, because he will certainly notice the difference.
Once you are satisfied with yourself, only then will you be happier with your man. Don’t wait until he walks out that door never to return. The next thing you will need to do is forget about what your friends are saying. Men in paticular have a really bad habit of falling for this. They will listen to the single friend or even married ones that stray for that matter. When what they really need to realize is that perhaps that is why the friend is still single and that the married one is not really happy in his own relationship, although on the outside, it may seem so. Many couples put on the (we are the perfect couple act), when in fact, behind closed doors, they are not. They are quite the opposite of a perfect couple. They will interfear, especially if they are jealous of any closeness they see in your relationship.There is no such thing as the (perfect) relationship, because nobody is 100% perfect. Everyone is different in their own way. However, you can have a great realationship with your own man once you learn what makes him happy.
Some women just give up and let their man come and go as he pleases. He will do this regardless of what you do or say if he has come to the conclusion that you are trying to change him, pin him down or keep him from his friends. You have to let him find out who his real friends are on his own. Beleace when I say, never speak badly of them even if you don’t say anything, or just agree with your man. He will eventually see the light. Especially if they are speaking bad of you. It doesn’t matter if you have been with him several months or many years. If he is not happy, he will do anything to get away every chance he gets. You can either live with it or change your own ways that will make him want to be with you more often. Do not be the stuck at home wife or girlfriend for your own sanity.
If he has friends that are persuading him to (hang out with the guys) or friends where the (women stick with women and the men stick with men) in the conversation, ask yourself, is this how I really want things to be? You have the power to change the situation, but just don’t make the mistake of trying to change him (at least, don’t make it obvious). He will change his opinions and ways when he sees you are changing yours.
The best defense to use to your benefit in a situation such as this is to get yourself together, and act like it doesn’t bother you as much. If you are always nagging about his friends or calling to check on him, he will want to get away from you, not them, even if he knows deep down , these friends are ruining his marriage or relationship. If he leaves you at home one too many times, get yourself out of the house and go out yourself. Do the same and he will take notice.
He still wants to feel that freedom. You can let him have his space, just let him know that you will also be having space of your own. Once you get out with your friends (if you don’t have any, get out and make some friends)or just go out by yourself. Just make certain your new (friends) don’t get too close to your man. You have to keep it that way, especially if you are not having a great realationship. Word of advice, never trust another woman (especially a single woman) around your man or tell them if things are not going well in your relationship. There are some women out there that are just waiting for the opportunity to jump right in just for the challenge or for the paycheck, sad, yet true.
You can always care and act like what he does or says does not bother you. Beleave me when I say, if you want to be happy, than make yourself happy first. If you have stoped having sex with your man, don’t think that he will not want to stray. He may deal with it at first because of guilt or whatever the reason. He will eventually want to be pleased himself. Even if you are still having sex, you will want to keep him happy in the bedroom. Find out what pleases him. It may not be the same as when you first met. Remember, he was trying to whoo you into the sack to begin with no matter how you look at it. He now has been there and the excitement of that first encounter has ceased to exist. You have to keep up the tention of sex to keep him wanting more. Have you gave your man a backrub lately, scratched his back for him or joined him in the shower? Don’t always be the dead fish under him where you can barely breath, much less move. Get on top and let him know whos boss. Guys just go crazy over that. Get out that sexy lingerie you put away or buy some new ones. Get yourself some new perfume. Do whatever you need to do to make him notice that you are indeed that sexy attractive woman he fell in love with.
Talk to your man and do things together. Plan a camping trip if you both like to camp. Go fishing with him if thats his thing.Do something with him that he enjoys. If you are not connecting with him, someone else will be. Don’t let this happen. If you are separated and you still want to be with him, then by all means, let him know you when you have changed yourself and get him back home. If you can’t get him to come to you, go to where he hangs out and show him, yet keep from running up to him, just flunt your stuff and he will notice. No man, no matter what the situation will not notice if you have changed, especially if his friends are checking you out! Separations almost always end in divorce. Don’t let it linger too long. There are too many fish in the sea and he will soon figure that out, on his own or through his buddies. If the realtionship doesn’t change for the better or if he is in anyway abusive, the you need to think about getting out of the relationship and moving on with your life.
