What You Can Do If Your Child is Confronted by a Bully

A friend of my son’s used to attend a small school where there was never any violence. Then he moved and went to a much larger school, and was the main target of bullies. Going to school for him, was more like torture. There are dozens of kids who experience this same problem on a daily basis. Is your child one of them? What is often called school terror is a very frightening experience that a large percentage of kids have to deal with. They are constantly harassed in locker rooms or intimidated for their money. Some are even pressured into having sexual relations, with the bully. Having these problems to deal with makes it very hard for the child to concentrate on anything else.

No child is actually born a bully. A school bully is a child who is also a victim at home. They may be just passing on the mistreatment that they are receiving at home. Or it could be from watching too much violent TV, or playing violent video games. Even young children who are normally un-aggressive are sometimes drawn into being a bully out of a desire to be part of a group. There are several ways that you can tell if your child is a victim. First of all anything that is considered different, such as a scar or bruise that they did not have before. And that they do not want to explain how they got. Believe it or not they also tend to cry very quickly, even when they are asked a very simple question. You may also notice some of the following: anxiety, shyness, cautiousness, sensitivity, and low self-esteem. By helping your child to understand that bullies are attracted to helplessness you can teach them how to handle it.

Your child should not back down from a bully, but that does not mean that they should be too quick to strike them either. Being assertive may prove helpful in dealing with bullies. It is important that your child take a stand. You have to show them that you will not allow them to use you or to intimidate you. Another approach is to try and find out why they are picking on you in the first place. It is possible that there has been a misunderstanding on his part. Maybe someone told him that your child said something about him, or some other type of lie. Of course this may not stop the bully from bothering them, but they will know whether it is a misunderstanding, or just a jealous kid.

You must convince your children to tell you the parent if anything like this is happening to them. Many children feel that their parents just will not understand, and will have no idea how to solve the problem. Often the bullies will tell them that they will be treated even worse if they tell their parents. But help them to understand that by telling you it can help. It does not mean that you as parents will have a one on one conversation with the bully. But you can give your child encouragement and build up their sagging self-esteem. Some parents may tell their children to handle it themselves. But depending on how severe this bully is treating your child you may want to take matters into your own hands. This can be done by talking to a school official about what is going on. More than likely the bully is probably a trouble maker, and this will not be the first time that their name is brought to the schools’ attention.

Of course your child may not want you to intervene in this way. But if your child is being physically harmed you have no other choice. It is possibly for discreet steps to be taken by the school. For example they can watch the bully very closely. If the bully knows they are being watched they are less likely to continue bothering your child. Also by having confidence in yourself you can help to keep bullies away from you in the first place. Bullies usually look to pick on those who appear weak, or unable to fight back. The main thing when dealing with bullies is to talk to your children. More than likely you have had to deal with similar situations when you where younger, and thinking back, I am sure you can offer some words of advice.
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