What to Do When Your Family Hates the Man You Are Dating
Fact number one: A good man is hard to find. That being said the obvious has to be stated. Sometimes it is hard to spot a good man. He can act one way with you and another way toward other people.
Fact number two: You are an adult and you need nobody’s approval. Sounds good. But lets be realistic, we all want approval, no matter how old we are.
Now lets consider the topic. You are an adult, say mid twenties. You have dated in the past. You have had your heart broken and possibly have broken a heart or two yourself. You know what is out there and what isn’t. Then you meet “HIM”. To you, he is handsome, intelligent, witty and charming. You think this could be the one. The two of you being dating. Everything is going smoothly. You have the right chemistry and he fits almost all the criteria you have established for that ideal mate. It is now time to introduce him to the family.
They meet. You think all has went well. You go home happy. The next day you ask your parents what they think. Your mom seems nervous. Your father looks stern. Your sister tells you the truth. They do not like your guy. Now what do you do?
That left over angry teenager inside of you, screams who cares. You don’t need their approval. You are an adult.
The little girl in you is hurt. You want to please mommy and daddy.
The grown up in you wonders why? Did they see something you didn’t see? Are they just expecting too much out of the guy?
What to do?
You have choices.
You can continue seeing the guy, paying more attention to the details. You can listen to the reasons behind why they don’t like him and then you can watch. Are the reasons becoming clearer to you?
You can dump the guy. You could be making the biggest mistake of your life. Your family could be wrong. Or they could be right and you might be saving yourself future heartbreak.
What to do? The answer is really up to you. This brings us back to fact number two. You are an adult. People, not even those who love you the most, can not make decisions for you anymore. Only you can. If you make a bad choice, you are the one who will be living with the consequences, not your family. You can respect their opinion. That is all you should do.
If you decide to give this thing with the guy a try, talk to your family. Tell them that you love them. But you have to see this through. If he is the one for you, you will know it in time. And if he is the one for you, your family will just have to respect your choice.
But never base your decision on fact number one. Yes, a good man is hard to find. But that doesn’t mean you should settle. Settling will only hurt you and the man down the line.
Your decision should be base first on love, second on realistic issues. Together will you be able to provide the life for each other that you both need and want?
If you chose a guy your family doesn’t like, it can be hard. But not unsolvable. If your family loves you, they will learn to deal with it.
Now if the man is not good for you. If he hurts or abuses you, if he talks you into doing things that is not healthy for you emotionally or physically, then don’t think your family will ever change their mind towards him. Because they won’t. And they shouldn’t.
But if the man is really a decent man, in time your family may come around towards your way of thinking. In the meantime, tell your family that you love them and respect them. But you have to do what is best for you.
