What to Do when Someone You Love is Living with Depression
Depression has varying degrees. Some people experience depression based on the seasons or weather. Other people have situational depression where things are just not going right in their life. Perhaps someone has died or they are recently unemployed. While still others face the daunting clinical depression where depression needs to actual reason to exist and often the person cannot pinpoint why they are depressed at all. All depression can range from mild to deadly if the person becomes suicidal.
Specifically, my personal experience is with clinical depression. My own depression is not severe, although it has had its low points. For the most part, my depression lays dormant and will hit deeply every few months. At those times, nothing can be said or done to make me happy. My husband often says, “I just can’t win.” My response is, “Probably not.” When someone is depressed, they do not need to be pulled out of it. Don’t try too hard to make them smile or make things better. Instead, just talk and listen. Just be there. Make your presence known. Depression can make us feel very alone. It can be beneficial to get someone who is depressed out of their surroundings. As stated previously, don’t overdo it. Simply getting them out of their environment can cause a mood change. And spending time with people who care has a positive affect on those who suffer with depression.
If someone you know is living with depression, regardless of your personal feelings on the subject, do not treat it lightly. Do not dismiss their depression. Most importantly, never use the words, “Get over it.” This is infuriating. Someone with depression is already feeling alone and turning to them and invalidating their pain is a slap in the face. Whether you believe depression exists or not, whether you share views with Tom Cruise, keep it to yourself or you could make things worse for someone living with depression.
There is this new television commercial out that simply states, “depression hurts.” This statement means that depression can lead to physical ailments. Some people who suffer with depression begin to feel pain in their bodies. My personal experience with this is back pain. It sometimes gets to the point that I require heavy painkillers to dull the pain in my back. There are also headaches to contend with. Other people have problems with their stomachs. There can be any number of problems. People with depression may begin to believe that there is something very wrong with them when it is in fact a symptom of their depression. Living in constant pain can make it much worse. There is nothing to do but be understanding. Offer yourself to listen and to help wherever possible. When someone you know is living with depression, just be there for them.
If for some reason you feel that the depression is severe and getting out of hand or could lead to suicide, then it is necessary to intervene and seek help. If the depressed person is not yet seeking help then it is time to do so. Medication is not the answer for everything, and some people are able to manage without it. Medication is the answer for some people. Help them to find a professional to talk to, whether or not it is a psychiatrist, therapist, or even a general practitioner, they will be able to help. Throughout this process, do not relent. In the most severe cases, hospitalization may be the only answer. The most important consideration is the welfare of the person who is suffering with the depression. Chances are they will react with anger or may give in under the sheer exhaustion of living with depression. Either way, at this point it is more important to get them help. Depression can be very serious and if someone you know seems beyond sad then help him or her to seek help.
Living with depression is difficult. It is difficult to pull yourself out. Some days it is difficult to pry yourself out of bed because it seems there is so little to look forward to. It is also difficult on loved ones to see someone who is depressed. If you care about someone who is depressed then simply be there and let them know you are there. Listen to them when they need to talk, talk to them when they need company, and simply sit there and be silent when all they need is your physical presence. Try to get them out of their surroundings if possible. Do not try to make them happy because this just makes them feel as if you are undermining their feelings, but try to get them involved outside of their comfort zone. Sometimes all it takes is to know how much someone cares. If the depression progresses then seek help for them. They may not appreciate it at first but you could be saving their life. If you know someone living with depression then try to follow these tips, they come from personal experience.
