What to Do when Your Child Gets in Trouble at Daycare
You find out from your daycare center’s director, or your child’s teacher at daycare, that your child has gotten in trouble in some way. Whether it was refusing to follow directions, getting in fights, or throwing a tantrum, knowing how to deal with the situation is an important step in getting to the bottom of your child’s issue.
The first step is to remain calm. You will serve your child, your daycare center, and most of all yourself a lot of wasted emotion and embarrassment if you let your anger or confusion bubble over uncontrollably. The next step is to discuss the issue with the director or teacher, whoever is telling you about it. Make sure you understand their side of what happened. If you’re confused, ask questions, seek clarification. Do not automatically assume they are picking on your child or that there must be some mistake. Be calm, listen, and really understand the situation.
Then, talk to your child. Let them tell their side of the story. If you feel like something isn’t right with the teacher or director’s story, make sure you and your child are talking alone so they have no distractions or prompting from someone else. Remember, if your child denies the issue or blames another child, they are more than likely trying to protect themselves from more trouble. But, you know your child better than anyone else. If they deny the actions, it’s time to return to the director or teacher. Remember: calm and rational. Explain that your child has a different version of the story and you just want to clarify the details that don’t mesh. If you’re talking to the director and he/she wasn’t present for the issue, ask to speak to the teacher. However, if it is the company’s policy not to allow this, don’t press the issue. Nor should you ever threaten the director or teacher. Being calm and rational will get the absolute best result for you and for your child.
If a director or teacher ever treats you poorly, refuses to discuss the situation, or is altogether uncooperative, this is when you should start looking for other centers. While it is important to keep in mind that director’s and teachers have to look out for the good of many students, not just one, they are there to keep your child safe. If they refuse to discuss the situation, they are not taking their responsibility seriously enough.
If your child admits to the wrongdoing, it is important to get to the bottom of the situation-especially if they rarely have behavioral issues at school or at home or the issues are becoming frequent. If your child blames another child, do not ask for a name. Do not go to the director and ask for the other child to be punished. You need to focus on your child. If the wrongdoing was violent, say a fight with another child, the daycare is not allowed to give you the name of the other child. Do not push the issue. See what you can work out with your child to help them find another way of dealing with their issues. You will never be able control another person’s child, your priority needs to be showing your child their behavior was wrong and they need to take responsibility for their own actions.
If you really feel your child is endangered by another student, discuss it calmly with the director. Express your concerns, and really listen to what they have to say and the solutions they might offer. You may be upset, but the calmer you are and the more realistic and non-judgmental you are, the better results you’re going to have for your child.
Your child is the most important thing to you. You don’t want them to get in trouble, but it’s almost inevitable that when they’re testing the boundaries of right and wrong they’ll hit wrong a few times. When it’s in a daycare setting, communication, calmness and rationality, and understanding your child’s motivations are going to be the best way to deal with the issue at hand, as well as trying to eliminate future problems. Protect your child, but also teach them right from wrong and the importance of being responsible for their actions. Be calm and reasonable when it comes to daycare staff, they are almost always trying their best to care for their group of students. The more reasonable you are with them and with yourself, the better the situation will be handled and the better your child will learn the right choices to make.
