When It’s Time to Switch Your Therapist or Counselor
When therapy or counseling works best, it can be a marvelous process of self-discovery, enrichment, trust, and healing. The bond we form with a therapist or counselor can become the healthiest of our lives and can serve as the pattern for transforming all our other relationships into much better, more fulfilling ones.
Any relationship, especially one that digs deeply and explores tough subject matter like core beliefs, life failures, love, and pain, can feel very rocky at times. This is normal and must be expected. With time and hard work, most of us can come out the other side to a much better emotional and rational place.
Understand, however, that not every person and therapist or counselor will necessarily be well-matched. Also, not every therapist or counselor may have the skills needed to assist you with your particular issues. If this appears to be the case for you, it may be time to look elsewhere.
Beyond these simpler incompatibilities can lie darker waters as well. While it is certainly untrue that all non-traditional therapy or counseling is bad, the potential exists that this may take you so far out of your comfort zone as to create new problems rather than resolve existing ones. Even here, however, it can be difficult to judge what is right and wrong because most therapy, at one time or another, takes you out of your comfort zone to work through tough stuff. You usually must leave your comfort zone to progress.
Yet there are some real indicators that may serve as a signal to you with regard to when therapy or counseling is not going well or as it should. One of the most obvious signs is when such a professional asks you to do something that seems wholly inappropriate.
For example, if a therapist or counselor makes express sexual demands of you, asks you to completely or partially disrobe, or crosses a comfort boundary, you need to stop and assess the situation immediately. If you must, stop the session and leave to consider what has gone on. Most professional associations specifically forbid any type of sexual contact between patient and therapist or counselor.
Likewise, if a therapist or counselor demands you make a on-the-spot choice that seems to be counter to your best interests, you may need time to consider what is going on. A therapist or counselor is there to assist you and may often guide you in decisions. But it may cross a serious border if he or she insists you do something drastic without time to consider all the possible ramifications inherent in such a step.
Even then, this situation must be carefully weighed by you. A good therapist or counselor may have very good reasons for asking you to do something extreme like leave a partner such as when he or she suspects abuse or quit your job if he or she believes you may be badly served there. This is something that should be discussed fully with the professional, however, and not simply agreed upon without full consideration.
If you suspect you are being badly and inappropriately treated, you should contact the office of the local professional organizations that cover the therapeutic or counseling specialty. Psychiatrists are doctors and are usually part of the medical community, so you can contact the local medical board. Therapists and counselors without advanced degrees, however, may not always be regulated. If all else fails, go to your local public library and ask the reference desk to help you find the proper reporting agency to contact.
