Who Should We Blame for Our Lack of Love?

Today was one of those days where I wondered whatever happened to the true love that everyone talks about. It seems that everyone is searching for that “one true love”, the love that will complete his or her soul. But the question is, does the notion of have a “soul-mate” really exist? In a society where love takes precedent over everything, where nine out of ten movies are about love or have a love story stitched into them. Where the songs that are monotonously played on the radio are singing about love. And yet, more and more people are depressed about not having the glorious thing they are searching for – ironic, is it not?

Could it be that has a society we have pushed “love” so far up America’s ass, that we have caused a type of love constipation? Have we caused ourselves to never find true love,mainly because we are so overly conscious of it? Divorce rates have never been higher, and suicide rates have soared through the roof. And the main reason for both of these is a lack of love in some form or another; and a lack of true connection between two people.

One reason for the love drought – too much sex. I know, I know, you are all wondering where I am going with this, but never in history has sex been so advertised, so open, and so THERE! Sex has become more important than how well a person can hold an intellectual conversation. When did orgasms start to take precedent over conversation?

Could our obsession with sex be the main reason for our lack of love? When a good lay means more than if you actually “click” with a person, or when a mind-shattering orgasm is the main quality you look for when choosing a mate, it’s no suprise we are so unhappy with our relationships. Good sex can only last so long, and when you get tired of seeing the same person naked what other form of connection do you have? This is why we jump from relationship to relationship, each one appalingly ripping gashes into our being. Leaving behind only a tattered silhouette of who we once were. As a friend of mine once put it, we have mistaken lust for love.

Mistaken lust for love, a very good point there. We as a society have chosen the fulfillment of our genitals over the fulfillment of our minds. So this writer has no pity on myself or anyone else when we are depressed about not having a strong and committed relationship.

But is it really our fault? This generation is wired on the standards of sex, and any form of sexuality for that matter. Sexuality has been crammed down our throat by every form of media, both secular and Christian. Yes, I said Christian. The reason for this is because the “Church” has become so aware and so worried for their children, they are shoving the “sex before marriage = eternal damnation” mindset. So even in a place where one comes to worship, he or she is being bombarded by sexuality.
Not that sexuality is bad, but anything in excess can begin to warp the mind of the user. Too much alcohol and you will utterly destroy your liver, and among other things, you will no doubt take part in the dreaded “drunken phone call”. As well as the latter you will most likely do something completely idiotic, like sleeping with a complete stranger and obtaining the glorious gift of crabs, which is always a nice little parting package. So in any form, excesses have serious consequences -including an outrageous doctor bill.

So should you be angry with yourself for not finding your true love? Or worse, finding your true love but completely sabatoging the relationship up because you are a self-destructive, insecure, jealous fiend. The answer is yes and no, this issue is very complicated.

You could easily blame the media for your lack of love, but then we all have a free will. None of us are being forced to do anything, we all have our own mind and can draw our own conclusions. But can these “conclusions” be altered by our surroundings? Yet, another yes and no answer. It depends on if you are a very easily persuaded individual.

Since we all learn from our own parents, and also in some strange way, the parents on Television. All of the relationships we are supposed to look up to are dysfunctional in some form or another. So it is not a surprise that from a young age we learn how to function in dysfunction.

Whatever happened to the “happy” families that we used to see on television? The families that had their tough times, but still ended up mending back together. Basically, the notion of families mending back together became too “unreal.” And in a reality driven world, ergo the reality T.V. craze, the happy families became too fake. Reality is, 99% of us come from a dysfunctional family.

So since this generation is genetically flawed from our parents, both biological and celluloid, we are not fully to blame. But referring to the statement above, dealing with every human obtaining free will, we all decide what to do and how to act. We all decide what actions we take. Some of us know that we are a self-destructive person, and yet we don’t do anything. Or better yet, we can’t.