Why Relationships Fail: The Fault, Dear Brutus, is in Ourselves
As William Shakespeare once said, “The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves…”
Certainly some of it is based on biology, animals being what they are, the male with the best looking mane attracts females. Equating maturity, position, experience, and wisdom to the beauty of a lions mane will somewhat symbolize the analogy in a younger woman. She is, after all, interested in doing her part to propagate the species.
In today’s society, what choice does a young woman have? Should she choose a young stud that still lives with mommy because he’s too busy partying, or too lazy to learn how to earn a good living for her future children? How about the young studs out there who have decided to score so many points on the slut scale that they never really learn how to treat a woman they would really want to take home to mom and be proud of?
In my opinion, most women are beautifully patient creatures. As long as a man makes steady forward progress towards providing a safe nest for her, most women are fairly happy. They can tolerate the occasional lifted toilet seat, or the cap off the toothpaste. What they do not tolerate well is being ignored, taken for granted, or being made to feel that they are second best in their partner’s life. After all, one definition of love is caring more for another than you do for yourself.
What then is the solution for the younger man who would like to begin life with one of these beautiful young creatures? Could it be that rather than railing against what may appear to be unfairness there may be something to learn from it? Maybe, just maybe younger men should try and be the kind of man they need to be so that a woman will love and appreciate them for who they are.
One of the infamous terms tossed around in the past several years when a man reaches around 35 years old or so is MLC, or Mid Life Crisis. Although I’m sure there are many shrink types out there who have made some big bucks out of diagnosing and treating MLC who would disagree with me, personally I think it’s bull.
In my opinion, MLC is an excuse for many men to walk away from a situation where they are unhappy, and try again somewhere else, or with someone else. Although I’m by no means an expert and have no statistics on it, it does seem that most men over 35 who leave a long relationship or marriage do end up with a younger woman. Why is this?
Well, since I’ve already expressed my opinion on why younger women seem to prefer older men, there are certainly plenty of younger women out there to choose from, thanks to all the younger men out there who can’t seem to get it together.
Another reason may be that men too need a little more from a woman than just being a permanent penis holster or a pretty gem on his arm. Consider this:
A man marries the woman of his dreams at twenty or so, and spends the next 15 years or more working for Corporate America to make a living to provide for them and their children. Before the working women of the world threaten to string me up, hear me out. I am not talking about ALL relationships, or even ALL men, but a possible scenario. A possible thought process that some men may go through.
Having reached their mid thirties a man may turn around and look at his accomplishments, or lack thereof. Can most of them look back on a wonderful life full of joy, or a life full of sweat and blood? Can they be justly proud of the family they have helped bring into the world and raise, or a house full of relative strangers they don’t completely know because they have been kept too busy working to support them?
Let’s be real for a minute. Who is it that most couples come home to after a hard days work and fifteen years of marriage? For the most part it certainly isn’t that beautiful person they fell in love with and married. It isn’t that slim and trim, happy go lucky, carefree lover anymore. Usually it’s a tired, overworked, stressed out, and out of shape shadow of who they once were. Mom has been working most likely at her own job as well as trying to keep up with two or three kids. Dad has been working 10 to 12 hrs a day and maybe 6 or 7 days a week for what seems like forever. Neither has any time left either for themselves or each other.
If our Government and Corporate America have its way, the time men and women spend together building a life will be even less. It used to be that a good employee came in on time, put in a few extra hours, and was compensated for his hard work. Now days that little extra is not only expected, but demanded. Putting employees on a “salary” based on a forty hour week usually just means that a company can demand fifty or sixty hours a week without being questioned.
Is it really any wonder that both men and women tend to walk away from the above situation? When we’re kids we all hear about the virtues of being married, and all the “Happily Ever After” fantasy. Nobody in their twenties can really imagine what the reality truly entails.
So what are the solutions to the relationship problems both men and women face every day? Whether we realize it or not, most of us already have the answers. However, instead of taking a good, hard, long look at ourselves for the solutions it always seems easier to look somewhere else for a “magic bullet”. We have the power to change our lives and ourselves.
In the end, is that fancy sports car or the mansion in the hills earned at the expense of our loved ones really worth what it costs us?
