Why Using Church to Find a Relationship is a Bad Idea
A skinny, hungry looking man promptly followed her. I was sitting directly behind them. I heard the guy expressing his sudden love for her. She tried to ignore him but he was the persistent type. She finally answered by asking him, “will you come to our church on Sunday?”
So it’s true then that some ladies try to use their attraction to get converts to churches. Some apparently do it to send the guy off their backs, but others might like the guys. They would feel he could become a believer if he comes to church and the anointing of the pastor falls on him.
Pure rubbish! How are you sure the brother would not fall for another prettier babe in your church? If a guy finally decides he likes you enough to marry you, do you think it is your church both of you would later attend?
Some people must have vowed that they would never marry anybody except that person is their church member. Errant nonsense! My friend Peace is going through this sort of situation. I have known Peace since my University days, but she never gave her age away. She was one of those ladies that was very secretive about her age as if someone would steal it. We might wear trousers and add a dash of make up to look presentable but you can’t fool people. I won’t tell you the church she attends but you can take a guess. In her church, you can never marry anyone who is not a member of the church. She made me understand that I was lucky. I guess I am. I mean, I get to choose the man after my heart, irrespective of his denomination, but with Bisi, it must be a member of her church or no marriage. So restricting!
It’s not every lady or guy we meet and marry in our churches that turns out well. Who told you some of our brothers don’t engage in extra-marital affairs? Believe me, red blood flows in their veins too. Fidelity has to do with being disciplined.
Temptations will always come but it is discipline that is required. I remember my pastor telling us a story about a sister. Pastor as usual was trying to make us realise the perils of rushing into any relationship because we are desperate . It was the story of a sister who wanted to marry at all costs. She felt really old, like me perhaps. Perhaps she was also missing sex, like me too. Yea, go ahead, be shocked as if I have desecrated the holy temple of our good lord. Is it a crime to admit that I sometimes, miss or yearnâÂ?¦please don’t even let me start! Anyway, as I was saying, those hypocritical saints rudely interrupted me, she prayed long and hard to God. She complained to pastor who told her to be a little bit patients that her miracle would soon come. Perhaps she was having wet dreams too. That could happen a lot if you are determined to keep all those wolves at bay, while waiting for Mr. Right. Not that you don’t want it badly but because you wouldn’t wait to get hurt all over again when it is time for the guy to say good-bye.
They most often walk out, except he wants to stay for good. The way I see it, if we don’t make love, you can’t get your claws into my heart. So when the good-byes come, I get to keep my heart while my pride goes with him. But sister Abigail was too anxious to settle down. Such desperation could only lead to trouble. She was also one of those “come to our church” kind of a person. I heard she was a sight for sore eyes. Damn pretty, despite her scarf and barest of make-up. She was coming to church one day when a roving guy sighted her. Traced her to the church and started monitoring her. Before you could say Jack Robison! The guy had become a member of the church. Prayer session one day found our man sitting closed to Abigail.
He heard and saw her wagging her finger and telling God, ” This year is my year of marriage! I must find my husband this time!” Our man later went to pastor to claim that God in his infinite mercy, revealed sister Abigail as his tenth ribs. Pastor refused to buy the story. Please don’t ask me why! Anyway, when Abigail heard, she also claimed the guy was in her revelation. I shudder to think of the multitude of sins people use church and Holy Ghost to cover! Pastor called her and tried talking to her but the babe remained adamant. I can imagine what was already going through her mind. Is your guess as good as mine? Okay, go ahead; tell me what you thought she was thinkingâÂ?¦. Did you say she was imagining the day of the wedding and reception? Nonsense! As for me, when it comes to the issue of marriage, the most important thing is the question of sexual satisfaction. Personally, that is what would be going through my mind even as I insist on marrying the man. And I don’t mean a man who only knows “Mama and Papa” (Missionary) style. He has to know how to make me beg for more. Comprehend? But then, Abigail can’t be me.
The marriage finally took place. Barely three weeks later, Abigail came to see pastor wrapped in bandages like a mummy. She had black eyes and her body was covered with bruises. She said it took her just a week to discover her new hubby was Mike Tyson. But what was the cause of the beating? Good question! Go on sister Abigail; do pray, tell usâÂ?¦ she said the man was not a Christian by birth or inclination! He also told her to stop attending church. You see what I ‘m saying? People could pretend to be what they are not, just to get their claws on you.
Clever men have now known that the easiest way to get between a babe’s well protected fortress is to say yes to their invitation to attend, “our bread of the covenant” church programme. Funny isn’t it? Even as they are inviting you, they are weighing you, wondering how good you would be in bed and how long it would take you to receive the holy ghost ministration that they are your missing ribs.
Hmm� sister, I understand your plight, but be careful not to make mistake on this issue. Some men are out there just waiting to take advantage of your desperation. And once they have ridden and gone through your entire pothole, gallops, tight or loose spot, they kiss you good-bye.
Listen dearie, life is too short to fret over insignificant things like church. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to be careful when choosing a life partner but rather than be after whether he or she is your member, worry about the state of their hearts. A born again spouse, doesn’t necessarily make a better life partner. Don’t you think God in his wisdom might choose to pick your man from another church? Stop playing God and start listening to God! Who told you that Stanley wouldn’t make a good husband? YesâÂ?¦that good-looking Stanley in your officeâÂ?¦ Yes, the one you have turned down his invitations to lunch several times. Aha! There he goes right now!âÂ?¦just look at the way he’s taking fugitive peep at you. Shows you do funny things to his heart. So what if he doesn’t attend your church? For crying out loud, he’s coming over again, don’t treat him with disdain. One lunch date wouldn’t kill you. Get to know him, after all his church talks of the love and mercy of God like yours, so what else do you want?
I can understand Muslims pondering hard on whether to marry a Christian brother or sister, but I was visibly shocked when I heard a guy say he doesn’t think he would marry his girl friend because she was an Anglican and he was a catholic! May the good Lord save us from the invisible powers of religion that is bent on destroying us, Amen!
The day I tried inviting a guy to my church, I regretted it. He was at my place even before I took my bath. I was shocked. He kept singing choruses. It was as if I was taking my tea, I had an inkling of the reason for his early arrival. He made sure we shared my tea. Even without milk! He didn’t even offered to buy milk. And after service, he followed me home and absolutely refused to go. why? He saw the delicious looking rice and stew my niece, prepared. I was hungry but I’ll be damned if I would allow him eat from that rice! I pretended to be asleep, while the worms in my belly fretted, kicked and threatened Aluta. He finallly left after talking to the dozens and receiving no replies. Honestly, that showed me that inviting people to my church was not one of my callings.
