Women Everywhere Inducing Labor to Avoid 6/6/6 Birth
Well, today is 6/6/06, and nothing has happened. The sky is not black; the demons from the underworld have not ascended from the sewers. I made an egg sandwich this morning; it was delicious. The Rapture has not fallen upon us; the Apocalypse will have to wait. Kirk Cameron is full of shit (but I already knew that, did you?).
I don’t see what the big deal about the digits 666 are. I always thought they were pretty cool. When I was a kid, I used to draw 666 and pentagrams all over my notebook. Although, my therapist says I shouldn’t go around bragging about that now that I’m older (whoops). I don’t know; I’ve just kind of been obsessed with the dark side and Satan and all that shit.
Satan is kind of like God, only more rock. When I heard about all these mothers inducing labor early so they wouldn’t have a 6/6/06 birth; frankly, I was a little shocked (and upset). If there’s anything that’s going to piss off Lucifer and the creatures of hell, it’s this bush league move. Who do these women think they are (and these fathers too)? They are not above the law of the land. If this was June 6, 1906; do you think mothers would be inducing labor to avoid a 666 birth? The answer is NO. They didn’t even have hospitals back then. Back then, you had sex, got pregnant, and nine months later squirted that baby out, in your home; sans hospital, sans anesthesia; sans induction. Fucking people have it so good these days; they don’t even know.
I think people have become way too spoiled; and if there’s anything that’s going to bring the Apocalypse faster, it’s shit like this. I would have loved to have had a baby on 6/6/06 (if I was female and capable of having a child; it’s bad enough nobody has sex with me now); in fact, I would have induced labor to make sure my baby was born on this day. It’s a great conversation piece and people will forever assume you have this eerie mystique about you. All you’ve got to say is something like this, “you know I was born on 6/6/06. Yeah, the power of Lucifer is strong with me; so they say. I don’t feel it, but I know it’s there.” That’s the kind of cryptic shit that makes the ladies wet in the underpants.
What, you’re not feeling this? There’s nothing wrong with Satanism; actually, Satanism gets a bad name. Satanists are just like me and you (well, at least me). There’s no reason to fear them; embrace them. We eat eggs in the morning; we like candlelit dinners and walks on the beach.
We are strong within you; always.
