Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
Writing your own wedding vows can make the ceremony personalized and memorable. However, before you start working on your own vows, check with you venue first to ensure that they permit this. While some religious heads find nothing wrong in saying your own vows, others find certain things unacceptable or they have a set ceremony in place.
If you are having problems getting the vicar or registrar to accept your vows, you may consider having a humanist wedding. This is basically a non-denomination celebration of a couples love for each other. The bride and groom have the final decision in how the ceremony is performed and what is said. This is the most personal ceremony you can have and as long as you get the proper paperwork filed in advance, it is legally binding.
After you discover if you are able to incorporate your own personal vows, you must now decide on what exactly you wish to say during the ceremony:
Finding the Right Words
Once couples have decided to write their own vows, they then tend to spend hours, if not days, agonizing over what to actually say. It may seem simple at first, but many couples get tongue-tied and they simply do not know how to translate their love into words. If you are one of those couples, then here are a few tips as to what to include in your vows:
Starters
To start you could say something along the lines of:
“I (insert name), take you (insert name), as my complete and faithful soul mate.”
Or if that is too formal for you, you could start off with something like this:
“I stand here today, with more love in my heart for you than ever before.”
The basic idea is to let your future spouse and your guests know how you truly feel about your partner. Many couples may feel too embarrassed to wax poetically to your partner in front of people, but you should not be ashamed of sharing your feelings. Your guests will find it moving that you can speak in this manner and it will make the ceremony an event that they will not soon forget.
The Middle
Many couples choose to start the middle section of their vows with the word ‘Together’. For example:
“Together we can face the world and achieve anything we want to”
Another idea is to you can add your own personal description of what your love is like. Some people, who are obsessed with sailing for example, will include a sailing metaphor in their vows and describe their love like a ship sailing on the ocean. It seems a little clich�©, but it is personal to them and will translate how they feel about each other. The middle of the ceremony is your chance to include as much personalized material as possible. You can have family and friends speak on your behalf, incorporate a rose ceremony or anything else you wish to make your wedding special.
The End
The end of your vows should be memorable and sum up your feelings completely. An example could be:
“In my heart you will always be, I will stand by you through sickness and health, and I will dedicate myself to you completely. This is my absolute solemn promise to you.”
That is a good little ending as it sums up your feelings and what you are promising your partner. A famous quote can also be used as your closing.
Sources That May Help
There are some sources you can turn to if you are having trouble with your vows. Firstly, there are hundreds of books available for purchase or you may find one in your local library. Books offer hundreds of samples that you can use and they provide ideas and themes that you can also follow. Most couples turn to books as their main resource for assistance.
However, there are some other sources you can use on the Internet. The Internet has a wealth of information and hundreds if not thousands of sites dedicated to wedding vows.
<http://www.usabride.com/wedplan/a_vows.html> also has some great tips.
Overall there are hundreds of sites to browse through and you can even ask family and friends for ideas too. You should have no trouble writing your vows with the wealth of information out there. It’s all about doing your research and speaking from your heart.
