Writing Your Wedding Vows
Congratulations! How wonderful that you are getting married. I just have one question for you. Have you thought
about your wedding vows yet? I mean, were you going to go with the traditional vows, write your own, or a
combination of both? If you are choosing to go the traditional route because you think you can’t possibly write
your own, then I have just one thing to say to you. Wrong! If writing your own vows is something you really want for
your wedding, then don’t take another route and regret it. Here is a somewhat of a guide that maybe will get you
beyond your fear.
First of all, plan on writing your vows when the both of you can do it at the same time. This will provide the
support that each of you may need.
Repeating the same vows
If you are planning on writing vows, that each of you will say, this information may help you get started.
* Not only would you need to pick a time when you two can both write, but you also need to be by yourselves. If you
want to write from your heart, then you will not want the distraction of anyone else around to interfere with your
thoughts.
* Go to separate areas or separate rooms, depending on where you are at
* Set a time limit to meet back at a particular room or spot
* Go into details and write a love letter to your fiance’
* Write about some special times you shared. Maybe a movie, or a time when your fiance’ helped you through a
difficult time, or a time when you both really couldn’t stop laughing. Whatever pops into your mind.
* Think about a special scripture, or poem, or song, or verse from a song you would like to include in your vows and
write them down. Also include why they are special to you.
* When your time is up, then you have the option of exchanging papers or read to each other what you have written.
* Finally, talk about and incorporate your favorite parts and write them down. If you are having trouble getting
your words together, ask your wedding official for help. You may want to show him your vows anyway, to make sure
they are pre approved.
Writing your own separate vows
You may choose to write your own separate vows. In this case, you may still want to do it at the same time, so you
can give each other support and encouragement.
Before you go into your separate corners and start writing, try to agree on about how long the vows should be. Will
it bother either of you if one has a longer vow to say than the other? Or do you want to keep them both at about the
same length? You need to agree before you start. As you start to write, think about how much that person means to
you, why you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her, or maybe what you felt when you decided to get
married. Think about a favorite song you two share, or a movie or a favorite place. Write them down and go from
there.
It’s your decision, whether you want to read them back to each other now or wait until your special day to hear
them. But you may want to give them to your wedding official for approval or help.
Incorporating the traditional
If you are at a loss for words, try reading the traditional vows and writing down what each thought means to you.
For example, write down how you each or both will handle “in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer”, etc.
That way you have the best of both worlds.
Whether you choose to write your own vows, take the traditional route, or incorporate both, you need to do what
feels good to you. Just don’t let the thought of writing your own vows overwhelm you, if that is what you want to
do. Have a wonderful life together.
