Writing Your Wedding Vows: Some Tips to Help Guide You When Writing Your Vows
Talk to Your Partner –
If you choose to write your own vows you have a few options to go with. You may be tempted to keep your chosen words a surprise from your partner until the big day. This might not be your best choice. Before you even start composing your words of devotion, discuss your vows with your partner. Consider not reading them the whole thing, but at least giving them an idea of what you intend to say. Tell them how long yours is so far and see what they’ve got. You don’t want to end up reading a few strong chosen sentences and having your partner reading a book at the alter.
Rough Drafts –
You may feel compelled to write for days on how you feel about this person, what you’ve shared and what you hope to encounter in the future. Don’t. You will bore your guests and it will diminish the strength of what you’re trying to say. Write your vows out a few times. Start fresh with each draft you write. You will come up with something new each time. Then you can take a look at each of them and pick and choose what you really like. Here are some things to keep in mind before you write them:
-When & where did you meet?
-Why are you marrying this person? What helped you make your decision?
-How do you feel about making a life commitment to this person?
-At what time did you realize that you were in love with this person? Had you ever felt it before? If so, in what ways was it different this time?
-What goals do the two of you have for the future? How are you going to help in reaching them?
-What valuable things has this person taught you? What have they learned from you?
-What was your life like before this person? How have they helped you?
-How did you feel when you became engaged to this person? Was it a special occasion or did you do anything special?
Rehearsal –
Like I said before, you may or may not want to share your vows with your partner before your big day. I suggest sharing if only to get the practice in. Practice several times before your actual wedding day. This way you will get to share your most intimate feelings with your partner first in private before doing it in front of all your friends & family. Work on them together. Give & take suggestions. When the time comes to read them aloud at your wedding, you will be ready. This will give you more confidence the day of and possibly prevent the running of mascara. 😉
Above all remember that these are your precious words to your loved one. Let them come from your heart and make sure they mean as much to you as they will to the person you’re saying them to. Good luck!
Here are some examples of vows that can be used. You can also tweak these to match your own personal experiences and add what you feel.
Traditional Vows –
I, (bride), take you (groom),
to be my lawfully wedded husband,
to have and to hold,
for better or for worse,
for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
from this day forward,
until death do us part.
(groom repeats)
Vows to Show Strength –
Do you (bride),
knowing this man’s love for you and returning it,
realizing his strengths and learning from them,
recognizing his weaknesses and helping him to overcome them,
take (groom) to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Do you (groom),
knowing this woman’s love for you and returning it,
realizing her strengths and learning from them,
recognizing her weaknesses and helping her to overcome them,
take (bride) to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Religious Vows –
In the presence of God, our family and friends,
I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful husband,
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
so that we may serve Christ together,
as long as we both shall live.
As freely as God has given me life,
I join my life with yours.
Wherever you go, I will go;
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
I take you as my husband, and will give myself to no other.
Traditional Vows (2) –
Do you take (bride) whom you now hold by the hand to be your lawful wedded wife?
Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for as long you both shall live?
(bride repeats)
Vow to Cherish –
I (bride), take you (groom) to be my husband,
my partner in life and my one true love.
I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before.
I will trust you and respect you,
laugh with you and cry with you,
loving you faithfully through good times and bad,
regardless of the obstacles we may face together.
I give you my hand, my heart, and my love,
from this day forward,
for as long as we both shall live.
Joint Vow of Promise –
Do you mutually promise in the presence of your friends and family that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as husband & wife?
(We do)
Do you mutually promise you will love, cherish and respect one another throughout the years?
(We do)
Vow for Your Companion & Best Friend –
I, (name), take you, (name),
to be my (wife/husband),
knowing in my heart that you will be a faithful friend,
and a loving companion.
On this special day, in the presence of our relatives and our friends as witnesses,
I give to you my sacred vow that
I will always be with you and support you,
in times of sickness and in times of health,
in times of joy and in times of sorrow.
I promise to love you completely,
to console and comfort you during difficult times,
to laugh with you and to grieve with you,
to share with you life’s simplest but most enduring pleasures,
to be truthful and honest with you,
and to cherish you,
for as long as we both shall live.
Vow of Support –
Do you pledge to love (bride) and throughout your years together to be honest, faithful and kind to her.
Do you pledge to give her the same happiness she gives you, to react to her as only you can, and to respect her for who she is, not who you want her to be?
(I do)
( bride & groom take turns repeating after clergyman)
I pledge to you with all my heart and being to love and support you in all ways, to my utmost capabilities, for the rest of our lives.
