How to Find a Good Kung Fu Teacher
Kung Fu is an ancient art, passed down many generations by the Chinese wearing orange robes and talking about their Chi. These people are known as Shaolin Monks but the people you wish to learn Kung Fu from are Shaolin Masters.
Everyone remember Bruce Lee? He brought Kung Fu to the mainstream. However, interest in the martial arts has not waned and one can still find himself a Shaolin Master to begin learning Kung Fu.
Things Required:
– dedication
– an airplane ticket to China
– an understanding of Kung Fu
– a willingness to wear orange
– no issues with having your hair shaved off
Instructions
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1
First, one must go to China. This is the first step of your quest.
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2
Once in China you must begin your search for a Shaolin monastery. However, there are various styles of Kung Fu such as Monkey, Praying Mantis, Tiger, Viper and more recently, Panda. You must choose which of these styles you wish to dedicate the rest of your life to.
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3
With that done, you must walk into a dingy Chinese bar, take a seat and ask, in a loud voice, whether anyone knows where the monastery teaching your style of Kung Fu is located. This should cause everyone to stop what they are doing and turn to face you. One person should get up and make his way to the jukebox, insert a coin and play ‘Kung Fu Fighting’. This is the cue for everyone in the bar to attack you. You must prove yourself to them by lasting at least a minute for them to help you.
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4
If you survive then not only will this make for a great sequence in a Quentin Tarantino movie but you will also know about the next part of your journey.
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5
Find the monastery you are looking for deep in the mountains and approach the Shaolin Master. Presenting yourself in the proper manner is key here so challenge him in a match of Tekken on the PlayStation 3. Choose Law as this will show your dedication to the art. Impress him with your skills and he should accept you into the monastery.
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6
From here on in, its about will power, dedication and keeping your head shaved.
